New Book Idea

I was reading Mark 10:46-52, about Blind Bartameus (sp?) receiving his sight, and I was thinking, "What was it that he saw immediately following this gift of sight?" And then I started thinking, what if it wasn't just a gift of physical sight, but that he could see beyond the normal realm of things...what a great, book, right?! I don't think it's the kind of story I could write too well, but this is how I pictured it starting. If anyone feels like picking up the thread, please add to it...

And on that day I received my sight - a wonderful and terrible gift I would now return without a second thought. For men who desire to know the minds of those who surround them do not know what they wish for.
The events following my newly granted sight are difficult and necessary to relate. God forgive us, we did not know what we did in those days. We were like the blind leading the blind, groping, stumbling, latching on to any word that sounded good to our ears and touting it as truth.

Aloha and Mahalo..

....and various other words I am learning to pronounce. As a librarian on the Big Island of Hawaii, I've had my share of mispronunciations, unfortunately when trying to say a student's name. They let me know right away when I've said it incorrectly and it usually takes me a couple more visits to get it right.

I haven't decided what living on the island is like yet. People in Montana say things like, "Is it nice? Do you love it? Man, Hawaii! Some people have all the luck." I smile and nod, and say nice things, but inside I don't really know. Is it nice? The weather is certainly warmer. That's usually a plus. Do I love it? What is love, really? Do I consider myself lucky...

I went to Hawaii last summer for seven weeks to volunteer at the University of the Nations, the Youth With a Mission main base. Words cannot describe how amazing my experience was. Someday I'll attempt to describe it. Anywhoo, a year went by and I found myself a bit dissatisfied with my job at Sentinel, only because I wasn't being used to my full capacity. Don't get me wrong, the job was a breeze, the staff was wonderful, and the students were and still are some of my all-time favorite people. I just wasn't being challenged. So, I applied and interviewed for a handful of jobs across the state of Montana. The one job I was offered didn't feel right, so I turned it down, much to the chagrin of my Principal and probably my parents.

Around the middle of July I decided I needed to go back to Hawaii, just to visit for a week or so. I missed the community and atmosphere of the campus, and I just wanted to see the island one more time before school started and winter descended. I woke up on a Thursday morning, purchased a ticket, and hopped a plane, all very last minute.

Of course, nothing on campus was as I remembered it as all of the people I'd hung out with last year were scattered across the globe. I wandered, directionless and alone, wondering why I'd come back. Standing on the balcony of the visitor's center, watching the sun setting over the ocean, I asked God, "What do you want me to do? What's next? Why am I so restless? I really need answers."



The following day I found myself at a party full of people I mostly didn't know watching the opening ceremonies of the Olympics.  I had come without a car so I found myself hitching a ride with a stranger who wasn't all that thrilled to be saddled with me, but by the time we made it to Hale Ola, we had decided we like each other well enough to go to coffee the next morning.

Stani picked me up the next morning and we drove to the Coffee Shack up in Captain Cook, one of my favorite breakfast spots on the Kona side of the island. She wanted to chat about theater and life and after we ordered our coffee, we settled in for a chat. She had just asked me about my future plans and I was explaining that I'd just finished my library endorsement and wasn't sure what to do next. As focused as I was on the conversation, I wasn't really paying attention to my surroundings, but had registered that a woman had just walked past our table. At least, I thought she'd walked past, but as the word "library" slipped past my lips, the woman spun on her heels, slammed her hand down on the table in front of me and said in emphatic tones, "We need you! We need you!"

I'm surprised I didn't spill my coffee. Before I could ask what in the world she meant, she continued, "School starts on Monday and we can't find a librarian anywhere." She proceeded to introduce herself as a fifth grade teacher at a local school, invited me to come visit the school, and gave me her phone number, as well as the phone number of the principal. She encouraged me to call, the sooner the better, and then went back to her table to enjoy her breakfast with her circle of friends. I just sort of sat and stared at the napkin with the phone numbers, and then looked up at Stani. "Ummm, I think I'm going to go make a phone call."

"Go for it, girl!" was her reply, and I stepped outside to talk to the principal. I knew if I waited and weighed the decision, I'd never call. After a brief conversation an interview was arranged...and the rest is history.

Do I consider myself lucky? I'd written in my journal, only moments before the coffee encounter, "Lord, put me in the right place at the right time." From that point things worked together so well that I must say, no, I don't consider myself lucky; I consider myself well loved, cared for, looked after, and championed. I could never have lined things up to work the way they have. It was, and has been, all His doing.

The job is not easy. There are days when I cry. There are days when I don't think I can get out of bed. But there are moments, so many moments when I'm reminded of how I am loved. Hugs from kindergarteners who still know what it means to love unconditionally, thanks from students who have just had a relative die and need something to cheer them up, encouraging notes from fellow teachers, impromptu dance parties in the aisles of Costco with friends, worshiping on the beach with earnestly off-key singers, and so many other little moments that fill me back up again.

Life Decisions

How do you decide? At what point do your decisions reach critical mass? I make decisions all day long, and most of them probably don't get the consideration they deserve because they don't appear to be life altering, or just aren't perceived as important. I don't wait for a sign about what to have for breakfast, or check to see if the spirit is moving me to take a certain route to work, but when it comes to taking a new job or going on vacation, I get all tied up in knots and spend hours praying, weighing the pros and cons, and evaluating how I "feel" about each decision. All this does in the long run is cause me to make foolish eating decsions (comfort food, ahoy!) and gain about five pounds. How do YOU decide? What makes you take the second path when the first path seems just as good, or even better?

Whilst knitting away the hours this evening, I was watching one of my british shows. This one happened to center around a group of writers who have a little circle meeting every month, and of course one of the writers has it out for the other and someone dies, etc., etc. I had to stop the show and turn immediately to the page because, rather than pique my interest in "whodunnit", it just reminded me that I love to write! I miss weaving tales together, clacking the keys toward a hazy yet exciting destination, breathing life to something that, ten seconds earlier, didn't exist. Is this a fraction of the thrill God felt as he created our reality? Does our urge to create actually stem from that one ancient act of creation? The desire to make a mark on our surroundings is one that is woven into our very DNA. It often makes us who we are, good or bad, and shapes the lives around us as well. As the characters in my show are about to see, the creativity of at least one individual (perhaps more) is about to shape their realities forever. Oh, what a single bit of writing (or a well-placed weapon) can do!

The rehearsals are in full swing! With Winnie-The-Pooh's success this weekend, we can now focus fully on the next community show, Godspell. Michael McGill is directing, Lisa Deer choreographing, and 18 or so of the best talent around putting in their hours and their hearts to make a fabulous show. Tonight's dance rehearsal was a bit rocky, especially for me. I struggle so much with the step-ball-change, etc. Dancing in this show is so much fun, though. There's a childlike characteristic that runs throughout the show, making every move and gesture a fun, carefree expression of oneself.

Words are so powerful. They can build us up, shut us down, spur us to great achievements, or contribute to our failure. The rise and fall of empires have ridden on the wings of whispers, surged on the backs of the warriors' cry.

What words have you spoken today? Your words are mighty, but perhaps the mightiest of all are these three words, spoken in earnestness, with a spirit of selflessness; I love you. We hear them tossed around like excess weeds in day to day life, but at the right moment, with the right intentions, they can be a lifeline to those around you. When was the last time you spoke these words? How did you do it?

My challenge to you today: speak with love.

I've become excited about the idea of blogging again though, as usual, I haven't a clue what I'll blog about. What interests me today? I've been trying to set a personal picture as my blog background and can't figure out how to get the file small enough to load. And does anyone know why I can't upload a picture from my iPad? The more I use that thing, the more I wonder why I bought it. It's nicer than carrying a laptop around, but it can't perform nearly as many functions as my mac can. Sigh...
I think I'll start following a few blogs to get some ideas. Jess Yakos' blog is fantastic. So creative and cute!